How much paper education do you have?

I talk a lot to HR managers over here (and head hunters). They all emphasis the importance of the degrees you hold. Yes it's plural of degree they talk about. Even if it is 20+ years ago, to land a job here you must have a bunch of them, at least in this part of the world.
So I asked how much of the really important degrees do they see landing on their desks:

• Masters in "Getting Things Done"
• Phd in "Recovering from Failure"
• Certificate in "Constant Self Improvement"
• Advanced Diploma in "Motivation and Leadership"
• Diploma in "Taking Risk and Responsibility"
• Bachelor of Arts in "Vision, Creativity and Stamina"

So we have quite a double standard: high expectations on paper and so so performance in practice. This gives me quite a head ache to communicate, that there can be all this qualities.